If You Were the Only Boy
by The Little Blue Fairy
Summary: Based on the song Mary sung in the Second Season.Friction continues between Mary and Richard, and Matthew wonders why Mary is still planning a wedding,Bates' trial goes terribly wrong, and the late Mrs. Bates leaves more trouble than anticipated...
1. Lies and Friction and Love

**If you were the only Boy. Based on the song Mary sung in Season Two. Please Read and tell me what you think. Set after the second season and before the Christmas Special. Don't forget to review! :D**

* * *

Mary walked down the grand stairs, a picture of calmness and serenity, and paused to admire a painting, hanging on the far wall. She tilted her head. Her Great-Grand Pa-pa stared stoically down at her. She had never noticed before his familiar resemblance to her cousin Matthew.

She smiled to herself. If only he knew how she lov...No. She was not going to let herself think that. Her smile vanished, replaced by a preoccupied frown. Carlisle would love and care for her just as well.

She continued down the stairs.

Meanwhile cousin Matthew was standing in the main entrance admiring a tall portrait. Mary's Great Aunt smiled serenely down, her hands folded daintily in her lap.

Matthew glanced at her face, and his heart skipped a beat. She looked so much like cousin Mary. Her grey/blue eye's, the tilted nose. The perfect white skin.

He stopped. If only Mary still lo...No. He wasn't going to let himself fall in love with her. She was going to be happy with Carlisle.

'Matthew?' a voice disturbed his thoughts.

'Yes?' He spun around

Cora stood in front of him, a small, sympathetic smile playing on her lips. 'It's dinner now Matthew, dear. Will you come down?'

'Oh, yes." He finished

"Are you quite alright, Matthew?' she asked, noticing his preoccupied frown

'Ye, yes. I think I'm fine, thank you.' He seemed to push away his anxiety, and smiled at his cousin. 'Will Mary be eating with us?'

'Of course.' Cora gave him a knowing smile, and took his arm. 'They'll be waiting for us now.' She finished as she led him down the stairs.

* * *

Mary smiled, lost in her own thoughts. She stopped as she saw her mother, walking down with Matthew. Oh, bother it. She knew she loved him-she couldn't hide it forever. A small serene smile crossed her face. He looked so perfect.

'Shouldn't you be going down now?'

Mary spun on her heels, and her eyes fell on Richard Carlisle.

She pursed her lips. Why did he have to come? 'I'm going down now. Shouldn't you be too?'

'I only got back several minuted ago. I'm going to change now. Can you tell Thomas I'll have a tray in my room?'

Mary frowned. She was sure she had seen him whisper to O'Bryan over ten minutes ago. 'Have you forgotten how to ring the bell?' She turned and continued down the stairs, still carrying a frown. Why did Carlisle lie to her?

She paused as she pushed open the door to the Dinning Room. She could hear rising and dying tones of chatter and laughter seeping through the doors. Her mouth twitched as she walked in, the only sign on her usually calm face, of her ordeal with Richard.

Gathering her utensils and plate, she choose a place next to Sybil on one side and Matthew on the other.

'Were's Carlisle? Isn't he back yet?' Robert asked

'Yes, he just got back. He's having a tray in his room now-I believe.'

Matthew paused, and frowned. 'I was sure I saw him talking with Thomas by the servants hall not quarter of an hour ago.' His frown deepened 'And with O' Bryan.'

'Yes, I thought I saw him too' Mary commented 'It can't of been him though. When I was coming down I saw him come from the car with his coat and hat. He would have given them to Carson if he had come earlier.'

'Unless he wanted...' Matthews voice trailed off as Carlisle strolled in.

He paused and pursed his lips superiorly. He took his cutlery and plate, and sat across from Mary.

'I thought you were having a plate in your room?' Mary asked

'Is that supposed to be a welcome?'

'No. It's supposed to be a question.'

'I decided it was too lonely up there, so I told the servant not to worry about fixing my tray.'

'You don't seem to be the type to get lonely' Mary commented

'Maybe-but I enjoy company, Like anyone in this family.'

Mary smirked, Carlisle wan't part of her family yet.

'I was hopping to take Anna into to town tomorrow, to get her fitted for a new dress. Her old one looked awfully shabby when she went to the Funeral last week.' Mary said, addressing her family

'That seems awfully generous of you.' Carlisle commented 'That won't be how we run Haxby. The servants will be able to arrange that themselves.'

'Is it wrong for me to be selfless? I'm not sure I want Haxby to be like that.'

'Well you won't have a choice in it..'

'Excuse me, It will be just as much my house as yours, I should have some control..'

Matthew, sensing an argument pushed in.' Mary, I was hoping to go for a stroll around the grounds this evening. I was hoping you would join me?'

'That would be lovely thank you. I need the fresh air.' She bent her head to hide her smile, at continued eating.

'Do I need to come?' Carlisle asked

'No. I think I can take care of myself. And if I can't I'm sure Matthew can.'

'Do I need to be worried?' Carlisle muttered to Robert

* * *

**Well, As you can tell-I love Downton Abbey! Please read and tell me what you think! :D**


	2. Wrought Iron

Richard Carlisle stood at the corner of the lounge, observing through the window. Matthews arm was linked around Mary's as they walked across the lawn. Mary's shoulders shook as she laughed at something Matthew had said. Jealousy crept over him as they couple sat at a small swing, saying in the evening breeze.

He turned his head back to the dimly lit room, facing O'brian.

'This would mean extra work, but also extra pay-could you do this for me? I pay well.'

O'Brian paused to look out the window

'He's living here now so I don't need to make myself suspicious by leaving Downton?'

'That is correct.'

'I will do it.'

* * *

Mary's arm fell over Matthews as they walked across the lawn-purely for formalities sake.

Matthew paused and looked down at his leg. 'Dratted thing!'

'What is it?' Mary turned to face Matthew

'Oh my leg. It keeps going numb for no reason at all.'

'Let it heal. I'm sure it will come right soon enough,' she smiled

'Oh look-here's our old swing!' Mary stood by and old wrought swing, nestled in the cover of two tall tree's. 'I though the gardeners took at away long ago.' Mary faced Matthew again 'Will you join me?'

Matthew paused, his eyes sparkling. He put his nose up and said 'Do you always have to go back and play as you were a child?' He dropped his haughty poise 'I might break it.'

'Don't be silly.' Mary sat down, and Matthew-after cautiously testing his weight sat down on the iron swing.

It swung gently in the breeze, swaying the couple.

Matthew turned to Mary. 'I thought I'd better save you at dinner.'

'Yes. Thank you-I don't know what would have happened otherwise. Plus I enjoyed the walk.'

'You don't need to marry him Mary.'

'I _do_. You don't understand Matthew...if I send him away he'll go kicking and screaming-he'll try and ruin this family. He'll try and ruin me.'

'What could he possibly do to ruin you?'

'Matthew..you don't understand-something, something happened a long time ago and..'

'Mary, whatever he does-he _can't _ruin you. He's lower class-not in a disrespectful way of course-but he can't spread gossip about a powerful family.'

'He can-people believe what they want to hear-plus it's true, it's not street gossip. He can do whatever he wants.' Mary sobbed

Matthew lat his arm fall across her shoulders, I'll always be hear for you and your family

'You don't see. Your family too he'll ruin you just as much as me-he's already jealous of you.'

'Jealous! What on earth has to to be jealous of me?' Matthew smiled 'Oh lets stop it. Look at the beautiful sunset.'

Mary's head tilted towards the dimming sun, the light catching on her sharp features.

'Matthew?' Mary turned to him 'Would you...'

'Would I what?' he asked softly

'I...are you..?'

'Am I ever going to marry?'

Mary blushed-an unusual display of emotion.

'I might, depending on who it is you have in mind.' Matthew looked into deeply into her eyes 'You don't have to marry him.'

'I do.'

'Why?'

Mary breathed deeply 'You would dispise me so.'

'Mary.' Matthew looked directly into her violet eyes. 'Understand this. I coulnd never, _never _dispise you.'

'You would.'

'Mary. Look at me- I will never ever as long as I live dispise or hate you, I love you to mu...' he stopped abruptly

'Matthew, you wouldn't say that if you knew. Not if I told you.'

'Try me. Tell me.'

* * *

It was dark by the time Mary had finished. Matthew sat beside her in silence. Neither had spoken in a long time.

'Do you understand now?' Mary asked breaking the dark silence

Matthew stammered a few words and lapsed back into silence.

Mary stood and took his hands and looked into his eyes. After a few minutes she whispered

'You do dispise me.'


	3. Truth and Hidden Matters

**Okay, here is the next chapter! Thanks to all my faithful reviewers.**

**Now, in the last chapter Mary brings up the topic of the recently deceased Lavinia Swire. It became favorable to me and the story that Lavinia remain _alive_ in the story-so no-she has not risen from the dead! Also the other chapter has been edited to prevent future readers from succumbing to any such confusion! **

**Sorry for the 'fancy' language-I seem to have 'succumbed' to it from this extremely 'literate' story.**

**Enjoy**

* * *

Mary fell on the velvet settee in her room, her body wracked with sobbing as she cried, Matthews horror weighing on her, adding to her shame.

She never wanted to tell him. She never wanted to fell him looking down at her as filth, never wanted to be seen by him as rot. He would never love her now.

A tapping rose from her door at the late hour. She sat up, wiping her eyes.

Instead of calling out in the night, she arose and opened the door. Her shoulders fell.

She gestured with her arm for Matthew to walk in. He shifted awkwardly on his leg.

'Maybe we should go to the lounge?'

Mary stared at him in exasperation.

'Fine.'

* * *

Richard sank into the arm chair, a dull lamp lighting the otherwise dark room.

He waited, waited for what seemed like hours before he heard soft padding down the lonely hall.

His hand flew to the light switch, immersing the room in darkness. He heard the door softly creak open as the visitor emerged into the room.

'Richard?' came the soft whisper

Richard sighed in relief and switched the light back on.

The small room was bathed in sort light, illuminating the figure of Lavinia Swire, still dressed from dinner, with a loose brown shawl, which she tightly clutched it around her shoulders.

'Sit Down.' He ordered, is hands folded in his lap-mimicking a demure attitude, yet being anything but. Lavinia meekly obeying

'You seem up awfully late...' she started

'We arranged to meet, and we do not have time to chat. A maid could come in at any minute and our plans would be ruined.'

'Of course. So you agree to..._keep an eye_ on him in exchange for keeping the story quiet?'

'Not me personally, but yes-he will be watched.'

'Please don't put it like that, it is so horrid-like were spying on him. It's only until were married, then he will be bound to me, and Mary...well _Mary_.'

'Do not speak about my wife in such a way!' He growled at her.

'She's not bound to you yet.'

'Yes, she _is_.' He paused 'Not by marriage-yet-but in other ways.'

'Your blackmailing her too?'

Richard leaped from his chair, his eyes flashing. 'Don't you _dare _call me such a thing! I have far to much power for you to dabble with me.' He clutched her chin and forced it upward 'I could ruin you.' He breathed into her face slowly, his eye's shooting from one eye to the other

Lavinia tugged her chin away from him, raising a tea cup she had brought in with her.

'If you dare touch me, I will drop it, and have the household down on your head.'

Richard grabbed it away from her. 'I suggest you leave, I may not bring the house on your head, but I can do much worse.'

Lavinia rose dignified, eyes fixed on him, and left.

Richard waited until the distant sound of Lavinias footsteps retreated and the small creak of a door, before he switched off the light.

* * *

Mary sunk into a small daybed, in the recently vacated room. Matthew did likewise on a small armchair.

'Funny.' He commented 'This chair is warm.'

'Someone would have had some tea.' she repied

'Mary, I don't hate you, truly.'

'Don't lie Matthew, I saw it in your eye's.'

'Mary!' He sighed exasperated 'I told you, I could never despise you.'

'Maybe not despise, but look down upon I'm sure.'

'Please,' he pleaded 'Don't hate me?'

'Your the one who hates, not me!'

'Mary I love yo...' The words del from his mouth in a rush. He stopped abruptly, clamping his mouth tightly.

Mary gasped and brought a gloved hand to her lips. 'Matthew thats...' she stopped at a loss for words. 'Lavinia?'

'Lavinia,' he said slowly 'was a replacement.'


	4. Lavinia's past

Lavinia Swire sank into a small chair, sitting in the corner of her room. She subconsciously ran her hand over her stomach.

She sighed deeply. If only it didn't have to be like this. If only there was a way..a way to make it all, to make it all-_go away._

Of course she could never tell Matthew. He would look down on her so, and despite her past sins, she still loved him.

She grimaced at the perfect image Matthew and Mary created together. She gazed longingly out the window. If only Richard had loved her like that...

* * *

Matthew and Mary sat together on the iron swing, their new favorite place to go.

'Matthew I...' Mary started 'I don't understand.'

'What?'

'I don't understand. Why was Lavinia a replacement? A Replacement for whom?'

'Mary.. I only realize now that I loved Lavinia only to fill the hole in my heart.'

'The hole from who?'

Matthew stood up, sighing. Kneeling down her took Mary's hands in his own and looked deeply into her eye's. 'The hole you left.'

'Matthew..!' Mary's hand flew to her chest. 'What?'

'I love you Mary Elizabeth Crawley.'

'Matthew' she repeated

Matthew slowly stood up and kissed Mary's hand. 'Mary, I love you with al my hear...' he stopped as Mary gently kissed him, her hot tears wetting his face.

Mary pulled away, wiping her face. 'I love you too.'

'Mary, what are you going to do with Richard?'

Mary sighed. 'I don't know..I-what about Lavinia?' she stared into Matthew

'I..' he stopped. 'It would break her heart.'

'Matthew! Don't you love me? I thought you did..but I can see now I was wrong..' Mary leapt from her chair and ran down the lawn, her disappearing figure melting in with the dusk light.

'Mary!' Matthew called. He jumped up, the swing rocking frantically-and ran after her. He winced as white hot jabs of pain sliced through his body, but still he continued to run.

His foot caught on a rock and he fell twisting his leg violently. 'Aghh..!' he screamed, pain shooting through him and wracking his body. 'Mar...!' he called and then everything went dark.

* * *

Lavinia stood by Matthew's bead, stroking his face. 'Matthew?' she whispered. 'How are you feeling?'

His eyes flickered open. 'Terrible.' he moaned

Lavinia stroked his arm, though his eye's displayed no love.

'Matthew, are..are you glad to see me?'

'Of course, Lavinia.' He said shortly, his eye's showing nothing but dread.

Lavinia sat down. 'Matthew...I need to tell you something..I did..'

Matthew looked surprised at her.

Lavinia dropped her eyes. 'Matthew-I-I'm pregna...'

'I can't hear you.' Matthew said irritably

Lavinia felt her strength draining from her, sinking like a holed ship.

'What did you say?'

"Oh I-I asked if you.. wanted some stew.' She answered quietly.

* * *

**RUBY! Oh my gosh! *Jumps up, flapping hands. Grabs Ruby's hand and dances her around the room*You came on! Yay! :D Do you like this chapter? I'll tell you at Impact to read..**

**Some new and interesting things from Lavinia's past life coming through, eh?**

***Spoiler Alert***

**Richard is the father of..., and also in next chapter Richard is related to someone, close to the Crawley Family and also in the Bates's Family...**


	5. Revelation

Mary sat on a scarlet settee. She had told him to go. Told him she could no longer care. Told him she would rather be with 'the snake' than with him. Of course she never meant it. Never wanted him to go. It was all lies…

_One day previous:_

_Mary screamed in his face. "How could you? You told me you loved me. I thought you meant it, but all you want is Downton, and by winning my heart you gain some kind of favor with my parents? What is this all about?"_

_Matthew gazed at her. "Of course not! That's ridiculous Mary!I don't love Lavinia-I don't want the estate! Of course I don't! I thought I told you Lavinia was only to fill a hole."_

"_I saw it in your eye's Matthew. You know you love her. Why don't you leave? Why are you even here? It's not like you'll be gaining Downton anytime soon-so why don't you go?" She sank into a chair. "Go and marry that girl." She whispered._

"_Mary," Matthew touched her arm "I don't want to leave you, You know I love.."_

_Mary swatted his arm away. "Just go." She whispered, "just go."_

_Matthew looked at her and slowly stood up. Taking one last glance behind him at Mary he slid the door open to leave._

"_Oh, and Matthew? I've come to my senses. I believe that man from Canada was George. I don't know why I didn't see it before. I'm getting Pa-pa to send for him in the morning."_

Sighing she walked from her sofa and gazed out the window. Outside Lavinia stood with Matthew helping him to walk down the drive. Mary wanted to cry out. Tell him she did love him. Tell him that she couldn't live if she had to be with Richard. Tell him that she couldn't live without him. But she couldn't. No. The shame would be to much. So she stood up. Wiping her eyes she checked herself I the mirror. Smoothing down her dress she left the room.

Richard watched Lavinia with Matthew. Oh how he despised him. Stealing his wife. Taking her heart. Mary would never be as happy with him. Not as much as she was with…_him_. The thought made him angry. Oh, so angry. He clenched his fist into a tight ball. He would pay. One day he would pay dearly.

Suddenly there was a noise at the door. Richard spun in shock, and the sight of Mary fueled his shock. He pushed his rage down at his 'wife's' unfaithfulness of her love for him. If there indeed was any love.

"Mary." He plastered a demure smile on his face. "How long have you been there for?"

"I only just came in." She gazed at him suspiciously. Becoming aware of it she pushed it from her face. She smiled and quickly walked up to him. Placing her hand on his arm and gazing into his eyes she said. "I can't wait for the wedding." She smiled up at him and forced herself to peck his cheek. She quickly walked back to the door and smiled at him as she walked out.

As she left he smiled a slow cruel grin. He had her now. Now all he had to do was get Lavinia married to Matthew and everything would be perfect.

He herd another noise and turning he saw O'Brien.

"I've been waiting. What took you so long?" He said curtly

O'Brien nodded her head quickly. "MI 'Lady wanted me to run her a…."

"That'll be all. I have Mary around my finger now. You need to hurry up the process with Matthew and Lavinia."

"They don't seem to be so happy together anymore…"

"Of course they don't! Don't you see that Matthew doesn't have eyes for Lavinia anymore? He's in love with Mary which works perfectly with our plan."

"How?"

"Because when Lavinia dies Matthew will be blamed."

O'Brien slowly turned pale.

"I had no intention of being part of this if people were going to die."

"People already _have _died because of this!"

"What! Who?"

Richard rolled his eyes. "You are thicker than I thought. Bates' wife of course."

O'Brien turned paler. "That was you?" she gasped

"No." he said. He walked over to her and spoke into her face "that was you."


End file.
